Make your holidays all about presence...
Many years ago my immediate family decided no more gifts for the Christmas holiday. Now keep in mind there were no small children in our family so we were not satisfying the fantasy of Santa, which I am all for children believing. That being said let me share with you how this experience has changed and even improved the holidays for me.
First off it reduces the stress level by about 99%. I enjoy shopping and finding that perfect gift but stores and malls at this time of year are CRAZY! Sometimes I would come out of a shop thinking isn't this holiday supposed to be about showing others how much we care? At the same time experiencing shoppers either yelling at each other or at the retail workers, if they can't find what they are looking for or the price is not correct, etc. With the 'no gift plan' this means I don't need to go to a retail store at all. Second there is no stress in trying to find that gift for the person that already has everything they want. Third it frees you up to create some great memories, rather than getting your shopping done you can check out local light displays, take the kids or pets to see Santa and get that fun photo op, have a cookie baking party. Fourth, for me anyway, I enjoying buying gifts for someone unexpectedly. You know when you are out and about and you see something that just speaks to you "so and so would love this." An example, I saw a beautiful painting by a local artist and as soon as I saw it made me think of one person and I could not get it out of my mind. I went back to the store a week later, purchased the painting, gift wrapped it and told my friend it just spoke to me and she loved it. No special reason other than love.
I realize many of you are thinking well you can't do this with children but hold on yes you can. Rather than making the holiday about the super size gift list start by teaching the importance of creating memories and being together. Make one special gift purchase, that thing they having been wanting for months. Really how many socks, sweatshirts, underwear, etc. do they really need and is that really a present? The first couple years they may not quite understand but if you really focus on getting in those experiences or memories during the holidays and even throughout the year and explain that it is really important we enjoy time together. Those memories will last them a lifetime. The experiences do not have to be expensive, like taking a Hawaiian vacation, they can be as simple as doing things together you already enjoy but don't take the time. A few suggestions...family or group outings to local minor league baseball games, visit an observatory to check out the stars, take a hike at a local conservation area, walk or ride a rail trail, check out a neighboring towns holiday displays, quick weekend trip to a town that is driving distance, camping, google search for events near me you may discover something new. You would be amazed at the free museums out there, in the past year we have visited the Zippo lighter and Case museum, Bush (yes Bush beans) museum and cafe, there is a Spam museum. They may sound ridiculous but they were actually very interesting, companies that have been around for centuries, some of them still family owned. The products are American made and they are proud of their products and how far they have come.
With all this being said please know my family still gathers at Christmas the same as we did when I was a small child and we look forward to this gathering. Honestly when I was young we would open our gifts on Christmas morning and after breakfast our first question was "when are we going to Grandma's." Our Christmas day was spent with my mother's family which was large, she had 12 siblings and of course their spouses and children. The gathering got so large we would reserve the local fire hall so we had enough room for everyone. The day was all about sharing a meal, eating Grandma's cookies, playing with my cousins, the adults would often play games. It was all about being together. I am actually getting a little emotional as I type this, the memories are wonderful. We still do all of those things but we have lost a few loved ones as time has gone by but we remember them fondly.
I hope this message will inspire some of you to try to make your holidays more about the presence rather than presents. May you be happy and healthy during this season and at peace.
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